Are you worried about caving in and texting to your ex? You may not have superhuman willpower, but there are some steps you can take to make sure that doesn't happen. Minimize your chances of pressing “send” by asking someone else to talk you out of it. Getting some distance from your ex--literally and figuratively--and keeping yourself busy can also help you avoid texting them.
EditSteps
EditChanging Your Phone Habits Post-Breakup
- Delete your ex's number. Erase your ex's number from your phone completely and you'll be less likely to send a text. If you try, you'll scan your contacts, not see their name, and instantly be reminded that texting them is a no-no.[1]
- You can also try putting the person's number on your phone’s block list, especially if there's a chance they may reach out to you.
- Call or text someone else. When the urge strikes to text your ex, reach out to a friend or family member instead. Let this person know what's going on and have them distract you from the impulse.[2]
- Say something like, “Today would be our anniversary, so I'm tempted to text. Convince me to change my mind, please!”
- Let your friends know that you may need their help with this while you recover from the breakup. For example, you can say, "I often want to text my ex. Can you help me when I'm feeling tempted?"
- You and your friends might even devise a code word that you can text them when you're upset. For example, you might text them "ex alert" or a certain emoji.
- Give your phone to someone else. If you're feeling particularly weak at any given time, surrender your phone completely. Hand it over to a friend or family member until the urge fades.[3]
- Install a breakup app. Thanks to technology, you can call in reinforcements to help you stop texting your ex. Scroll through your smart phone's app store to check out the available breakup apps. Download the app and use it until the urge to text your ex fades.[4]
- Certain apps, like Ex Lover Blocker, are designed to limit your ability to reach out to your ex by calling your friends whenever you try to make contact.
- Power off your phone in the evenings. You might find that you are able to keep thoughts of your ex at bay during the days when you're otherwise busy. However, you might be tempted to reach out at night when you're bored or lonely. If this is the case, shut off your phone for a few hours each night and spend time doing nourishing self-care activities instead.[5]
- Watch your favorite movie, study, read a book, or paint your nails to occupy yourself each evening instead of using your phone.
- Let friends and family know of others ways they can reach you if they need to, such as through email or instant messaging on your computer.
EditLimiting Thoughts of Your Ex
- Unfollow your ex on social media. Get distance from your ex by unfriending or unfollowing them on all your social media accounts. Doing this will help you think about them less because you won't have to see updates about their life on your news feed.[6]
- In some cases, like on Facebook, you don't have to delete them as a friend entirely, but "unfollow" their feed instead.
- Avoid triggers. Gather all the movies, clothes, photos, and other mementos of your relationship. Trash or pack them away until you're emotionally ready to deal with them. Also, steer clear of songs, TV shows or other situations that might make you feel nostalgic.[7]
- Avoid taking any walks down memory lane for the time being. Doing so may only bring up old feelings that leave you itching to contact your ex.
- Put money in a jar when the desire strikes. There's no better way to break a bad habit than having to pay out of pocket whenever it happens. Each time you think about texting your ex, put a set sum of money in a jar. Donate the money to a friend or a good cause.[8]
- Over time, you'll notice yourself wanting to text them less and less because you naturally don't want to lose money.
- Stay away from your ex’s hangouts. If you're still running into your ex every now and then, you might give in to the temptation to text them. Don't frequent any of their usual stomping grounds until you've fully moved on.[9]
- Try to avoid seeing your ex as much as possible.
- If you can't help seeing them, keep the encounter short and sweet--never stop moving. For instance, say “Hi” while continuing to walk in the opposite direction.
- Skip the alcohol. Drinking alcohol loosens your inhibitions, so try to avoid alcoholic beverages for a while. If you go to a bar or restaurant, stick to seltzer water or soda.[10]
- That way, you won't have to worry about giving into temptation and possibly texting or even hooking up with your ex in a drunken haze.
- There's also an app that can help you cut down on drunk-texting called Drunk Mode. You input contacts that are blocked for a specific amount of time. To disable the app prematurely, you'll have to successfully answer a series of math equations.[11]
- Remind yourself why it's over. Make a list of why things ended with your ex. Each time you feel tempted to text them, pull out the list. Reading it should remind you why texting them isn't such a good idea.[12]
- For instance, maybe this person cheated on you. When you feel weak, remember that betrayal so you don't contact them.
EditMoving on after Heartbreak
- Hang out with friends more often. The more time you spend alone, the more likely you are to want to reach out to your ex. So, occupy your time with your closest pals who are guaranteed to take your mind off your ex.[13]
- Go out to lunch or dinner with your buddies. Or, plan a low-key movie night with a few friends at home.
- If you need some alone time to process the breakup, that's okay. Take the time you need. At the same time, don't isolate yourself completely. You can achieve a balance that works for you.
- Pursue a hobby. Sharpen your current talents or get started with a new passion to keep yourself distracted. Try playing a sport or a musical instrument. Or, express yourself creatively by writing, painting, sculpting, or crafting.[14]
- Join a club. Meet new people and take on new responsibilities by participating in a club or organization relating to your school, work, or hobbies. Filling your calendar with constructive activities will make you forget about texting your ex for a while.[15]
- Can't locate an interesting club? Find Meetups in your area for people with similar interests.
- Learn a new skill. Try your hand at something totally new. This will not only help you forget about reaching out to your ex, but it also helps you build new memories that don't include this person. Think about a skill you've always wanted to learn and get started.[16]
- Take a class in a foreign language, cooking, or wood crafting.
- Learn your new skill by participating in a group course, getting one-on-one mentoring, reading books, or watching YouTube tutorials.
EditSources and Citations
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